Busting BDSM Misconceptions - 5 Common Bondage Myths

In recent years, BDSM has gained a lot of mainstream attention through books, movies, and TV series. To name a few, Fifty shades of Grey, Bonding and How to build a sex room. When you see these titles you surely have certain images that come to mind, such as leather whips, handcuffs and masks. However, like everything about sex and fantasies, there is so much more to it. In this blog we want to destroy the preconceived myths of BDSM and reveal the real facts to you.

First BDSM what do these letters mean. It's actually an abbreviation:

B for bondage
D for discipline or dominance
S for sadism or submission
M for masochism

The different elements of BDSM, namely Bondage and Discipline, Domination and Submission, Sadism and Masochism. Each of these 3 expressions represents a subset of the BDSM universe and covers different practices. But the boundary between them is often quite blurred and arbitrary.

BDSM or bondage (another term often used) is a set of very diverse consensual practices, often having aspects of role play, power relations between people as well as sometimes pain and humiliation.

It is common for the term "bondage" to be used interchangeably with the acronym "BDSM", even though in fact bondage is a subcategory of BDSM. The term bondage is often used in blogs or product descriptions to refer to BDSM. The reason is simple, it is to facilitate understanding since the term bondage is generally better known than BDSM.

Curiously, many people have BDSM-type practices without knowing it. This does not prevent them from frequently having negative prejudices against BDSM because they do not really know what it is.

In films, on television or in the media, we see different aspects of BDSM. This strong attention paid to the practice of BDSM has reduced the stigma. On the other hand, this increased interest has also allowed certain myths to become embedded in our minds.

So, it's time to let go of the chains of uncertainty and learn the true story of bondage sex together!

MYTH #1

What I read in this book is the exact reality of BDSM (Here book or movie does not matter)

Fact: More often than not these are works of fiction. The author has taken some leeway with his creative freedom, which is good, but be careful not to use these works of fiction as a BDSM bible. Take the example of Fifty Shades of Gray because it is one of the best-known bondage-themed books.

Fifty Shades of Gray is great entertainment, but you should take the information presented with a grain of salt and use it more as an inspiration, not a literally how-to guide. What you see in fictional works is only a tiny part of what the BDSM world encompasses.

That being said, one of the most important things about bondage is that it's built on trust, desire, and mutual understanding. Under no circumstances should partners feel pressured to do things against their wishes. Both partners must respect each other 100% and be on the same page to communicate what they want and how they are going to get it. Communication is the key to having healthy bondage activities.

MYTH #2

It's always about domination and submission in BDSM

Fact: Although these are ubiquitous terms in bondage, there are different degrees and different types of games that can be associated with them. Everything is not all black and all white, there are ''Grey'' or gray areas.

For the majority of people who practice BDSM, it is more immersive roleplaying that is sexually intense. Bondage consists of an exchange of power between partners, one of the partners (dominant) taking the ascendancy over the other (submissive) who will agree to submit to him / her and obey his orders. It goes without saying that the two are consenting.

• Dominant - A person who takes power over his partner (submissive or submissive) who will have to obey him. The de facto dominant person is usually referred to as "master" or "mistress".

• Submissive - The person gives control to their dominant partner. The degree varies according to individual needs and desires, ranging from small games to full control. This person is often referred to as a “submissive”.

The dominant role can be played by either partner and roles can change at any time. There is no stereotype like the man dominating the woman, it could just as well be the opposite.

Even being submissive, he has some control since he always has the last word on what happens. Indeed, it is important to define a security word that allows you to stop the activity at any time. If the submissive says “Stop” the game stops. So we understand that the dominant is not the only one to dominate, the submissive can also exert a certain domination. Think about it?

MYTH #3

You have to wear leather and use strange torture tools.

Fact: There are no set rules regarding the clothing or accessories used in the practice of BDSM. However we will not hide it a leather corset, a masquerade mask, sexy boots definitely create an atmosphere that many are looking for.

What you wear for bondage play is entirely up to you, and so are the tools and accessories that go with it. We will not hide it, all these products add more fun.

In some cases, it is possible to use what you have on hand like a tie to tie your partner, but sometimes you want something more solid, or more effective. In these cases, why not invest in a set of wrist and ankle restraints which, in addition to being resistant and functional, will have an absolutely sexy style.

Same thing for spanking the hand is fine, but using a whip or feather duster can vary the sensations in exciting ways.

In summary, sexy lingerie and naughty accessories aren't technically essential, but they do take things to the next level and add flavor to your BDSM experience.

MYTH #4

BDSM is all about feeling pain and being hurt

Fact: Pain is a stereotype associated with BDSM by many people. However, the reality is quite different. It's more about creating a sense of vulnerability than getting hurt.

As we have already mentioned, bondage covers a wide range of practices, from very gentle tickling to very intense corrections. The majority of people are simply content to surrender full control, or take full control, over their partner without feeling the pain.

As each person is unique, it is normal that there are different practices and different degrees of BDSM intensity, to each his own games and desires. Again, everything must be done with respect and with the consent of the other person to create healthy BDSM games.

MYTH #5

BDSM is sexual deviance and it is not healthy

Fact: BDSM is a healthy practice at its core. The important thing is that it doesn't turn into an obsession. It is also essential to respect the pre-established security codes between the partners before the game. BDSM enthusiasts are generally very strong with their imagination when creating characters and scenarios. Additionally, bondage fans often make sexuality a big part of their lives.

According to studies, practitioners of BDSM seem to be more outgoing, more open to new experiences and more conscientious than practitioners of vanilla sex. (accessory-free sex) Researchers don't yet know why BDSM performers seem to be psychologically healthier than the rest of the population, but they suggest it might have to do with being more aware of their needs and their sexual desires, which leads to less overall frustration in their physical and emotional relationships.

BDSM essentials and best sellers

Now that you know a little more about the subject of BDSM, it's time to show you what could enhance your bondage games. I'm sure you want to experiment after reading these lines.

You can start your exploration by visiting our BDSM section online or in store. Then I present to you our favorite suggestions for your BDSM adventure.

First classic handcuffs

Why not try Fierce Euphoria's wrist and ankle cuffs these adjustable cuffs are stylish, durable and comfortable. Moreover, what about their leather aspect which is very sensual. There are a variety of fastener types. We invite you to take a tour of our specialized restraint and handcuffs section on our website.

Second classic a whip and a feather duster

Here I would like to present you a product that combines the two, because alternating between spanking and feathering creates sensational effects. Here is the whip with Plumeau Toe Tickler. Effective BDSM product at an affordable price, we like it. There are also several varied models of whip, crop and paddle for you to discover.

Third classic the famous Sex Swing

A swing that allows you to perform several sexual positions, but also allows you to position your partner's body as you wish. Immobilize him/her and let your creativity take control. Visit our sex swings and positioners section here.

Fourth classic the nipple clamps

Here we give a little attention to the breasts with CalExotics Bullnose Nipple Jewelry Nipple Clamps. Perfectly suited for beginners, these nipple clamps are adjustable, with a secure and firm grip. Apart from nipple clamps there is a wide range of products to stimulate them such as nipple gels and nipple pumps.

Fifth classic a sexy lingerie

We've all heard the phrase “dress for the job you want”. Sexy lingerie will allow you to fully immerse yourself in your BDSM role. Here we suggest several lingerie items with a fetish and BDSM trend that will happily enhance your bondage session. The main attraction of these sexy lingeries is their wet look and imitation leather aspect. Visit our fetish lingerie section right here.

In conclusion

What we remember from all this is that respect and consent are essential when venturing into the world of BDSM and that bondage includes a multitude of facets and degrees of practice. Also, you don't need to have a dungeon or a red room to practice BDSM. My advice be creative and try new adventures.

Did it make you want to explore the world of BDSM?